Blurbs You Wouldn't Want to See on the Back Cover of Your First Book

“I found it literally impossible to put this book down. Of course, that may have been because it was full of hot air.”

“If I could have one book with me on a desert island, this would be the one—because I’d have no scruples about using it to start a signal fire.”

"An abomination to trees."

“This book helped brighten my day. At 923-pages long, I was able to step up on it to change a light bulb.”

"Better than counting sheep."

“If you can‘t afford to buy this book, go out and steal it from your local library. Please!"

“Read this book from cover to cover. Skip the rest."

"Made me say "Uncle," and not in a good way.

“My only wish is that this book would have been a lot longer. Then I could have left more of it unread.”

“This is the kind of book you put down and say: “I made it!"

"Move over Snoopy!"