Have any turkeys pardoned in the past been truly reformed?
Have turkeys ever made a contribution to society? Have they ever participated in a drug bust, for example? Saved someone freezing to death in the Alps? Delivered vital messages to Allied troops in wartime? Been pulled from a top hat?
In the future, will other animals demand similar treatment? Could I end up having to publicly pardon an anchovy next year?
Sure I might upset the turkey population by denying clemency, but isn't it good to ruffle a few million feathers now and then?
Has a turkey ever pardoned a weevil?
Could I be upsetting the world’s dead turkey-cranberry sauce balance?
Wouldn't the turkey actually be better off dead? Once the execution takes place, it's all be gravy.
Snoods, caruncles, wattles--who needs them?
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