Mechanical lift from dugout floor to playing field (escalator clause)
Use of horse for home run trots
Ejection stadium seating three rows deep behind dugout, controlled from player's phone
Exclamation point following name on back of uniform
Stat line “malfunction” on scoreboard during prolonged slumps
Exemption from sacrificing, whether or not bunts are involved
Walkup song to be played by personally selected live band
Audible warning track with recording of Lost in Space robot saying "Danger [player's name]
Four guaranteed back pats or butt pats each game, gratis
Fireworks display upon starting argument with any umpire

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