Extraterrestrial Species I Have Met, With Brief Comments, Part 1 (A-C)

Andorians…Always saying stuff like, “Lets see, we can invade Earth and/or Venus” and “We can kill and/or enslave all the inhabitants.” Pretty annoying. Androsynth…Always telling you to “Walk this way,” but it’s hard to do because their physiology is so different. Antedeans…Almost extinct; flourished in the era when colleges on their planet were leaderless. The Anti-Monitor…Have successfully taken over all the school hallways on their planet. Aquatoids…Main industry: underwater breath mints. Aras…Always humming arias that seem to be lacking something. Arceans…Almost weightless, at least on Earth. I found I could sail an Arcean quite easily. Asari...They look like walking textiles, which has led many other races to wear Asari, though few of them know how. Asurans…Intergalactic insurance agents. Atavus…Favorite household pet is the Atavus finch. Axons…Mr. Miyagi once told them to Axoff. Azgonians…Landed in Arizona, migrated to Oregon. Aziam...Name intended to be an anagram for “I am lazy,” but they were too lazy to include all the necessary letters. Baalols…When they talk they sound like sheep laughing out loud. Badoon…Avid fans of The Little Rascals, the way Buckwheat said balloon always cracked them up. So they adopted it as their name. Ballchinnian…I think Wikipedia may have had Ballchainian in mind. A Ballchainian must (by law!) be married no later than ninety days after achieving adult legal status. Otherwise they get hooked up with a literal ball and chain. Banik…Many of them suffer from Banik disorders. Bith…A Bith is always a Bith under the weather. Blastaar…A band of space pirates; they don’t like tar much. Boolite…Scary, but not too scary. Bothans…When I first met them I said, “Look Ma, Bothans!” They didn’t get it. Bricker…Like brick, only more so. Briori…When a Briori time travels into the future, there comes a point when he’s transformed into a Bosteriori. Brunali…Think Muhammad Ali in the role of Brunhilde. Surprisingly enough, it sort of fits. Caitians…From Caiti. (On their planet, an island in the Harribean.) Capelons…Arch enemies of the Montagims. Caponions…Summer or winter, indoors or out, never take their hats off. Cavaliers…May survive a battle, but invariably get smoked afterwards. Centrans…Operators of Warp Busses and Light-Speed Rail. Chaethe…Narcissistic; live for the Chaethe. Chamachies…Love the Jamoanies. Chaos…Siegfried (not the tiger guy, the other one) is suing them. Chatilians…A reptilian race; you regularly stumble upon them in chat rooms. Cheela…Most annoying of all space aliens; everyone and every thing wants to see the last of Cheela. Chi…Supreme game players. No one can beat Chi, no one can even tie Chi. Chiss...Interstellarly renowned for their Chiss cheese. Chmmr…If you can pronounce their name exactly as it is written, you’ll become an Internet sensation. Cho-choi…Love trains, but have a hard time saying choo-choo. Chozo...Told me that Cher and Bozo once secretly married and honeymooned on their planet, and that they are the result. Their story is plausible from the looks of them, and from what little I know of Cher and Bozo. But I’m still not buying it. Chronomyst…From a planet so hazy they can’t read their watches. Cinnrusskin…Look like Russians, smell of cinnamon. Cizerack…All 92-longs; identical giants. Clutch Turtles…Handle the bat quite well, for turtles. Cocytans…Tan and cocky; mostly employed during their stays on Earth as cabana boys. Coeurl…Desperately want to be promoted to Eurl, but time is running out. Cole…When the Cole landed in England, they asked a passing earthling to take them to his leader; for a joke (which he endlessly repeated afterward), he took them to Newcastle. Coola (Cooler)…A very unsexy race; it’s hard to be hot when you're a Coola. Cryons…Creatures that are almost all shoulder.